The Five Minute Iliad Other Instant Classics

Great Books For The Short Attention Span

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Was Homer really blind, or was that just his shtick? Was Dante a righty or a lefty? Why aren't there any pictures of Jane Austen in a bikini? What made Oscar so Wilde? How much did Hemingway? These are just some of the many great questions of Western literature ignored in this book.
From the author of A Prairie Home Companion's beloved "Five-Minute Classics" comes The Five-Minute Iliad and Other Instant Classics, a witty and profane lampoon of the Western literary canon -- the Spinal Tap of literature.
"I will never write such wordy trash again," Leo Tolstoy said of War and Peace after reading Homer in the original Greek. Tolstoy's pledge inspired humorist Greg Nagan to whet his double-edged verbal sword and offer this gleefully twisted take on what contemporary readings of the Great Books say about our society today.
From The Iliad to On the Road, these fifteen parodies provide a riotous romp through Western civilization (one version of it, anyway) from Homer to Kerouac, from Ancient Greece to Postwar America, from the Lyrical Epic to the Breathless Gush. Nagan's mirthful mayhem will delight those who've read the Great Books, and those who haven't read them will find these literary caricatures entertaining in their own right.
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Book details:
  • Touchstone | 
  • 224 pages | 
  • ISBN 9780684867670 | 
  • August 2000
$16.95 List Price
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Chapter One: The Iliad by Homer (700 B.C.)



No, my friend,

I have no desire to fight the blithe immortals.

But if you're a man who eats the crops of the earth,

a mortal born for death -- here, come closer,

the sooner you will meet your day to die!



Homer (no relation) was a blind poet who lived in Greece around the ninth or eighth century B.C., and, as a result of the curious Greek dating system, was apparently born about eighty years after he died. It is believed the Iliad and the Odyssey, his two surviving works, were both originally oral rather than written...

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